Third&Final

The 1st time I left this company: I got a cake, cards, and presents. The 2nd time: a farewell dessert lunch. The 3rd time (now): I’d like nothing but an earlier than 5pm departure time. I can’t say I’ve completely hated this experience – there have been good days, funny days, lots&lots of laid back days – but for the most part, I’m ready for something I actually enjoy with people I genuinely like. I have high hopes for my new position&location as I finally leave “the family business” forever.

Random Food

Cheese Fries from LagerHeadsGreenbean Casserole from my DaddySeseme Bagel with Eggwhites from PaneraSalad with Mexican leftovers from theOfficeFruit Salad with Fruit from AllOverThePlace

Training Nonsense

After weeks without access to our new office training program
I finally got in and everything is overdue.
duh.
Time to play catch-up.
Trainings for a job I'll leave in less than 3 weeks:
makes a whole lot of sense.

Making Do

There was a point in time when I didn't mind this place.

Unexpected Changes

I won’t be making this morning commute for too much longer. After over a month of waiting to hear if I’d be hired full-time for the temporary position I currently fill, my boss informed me last Friday that they’ve chosen another candidate.
Blindsided.
I’ve been training in the role for over 5 months.
But, I suppose it isn’t a complete surprise. I don’t exactly “fit in” with these women and I know catty-female-politics play more of a role than the actual abilities of employees, so I’ll count it as a blessing in disguise that I can search for a job I’ll enjoy for both the requirements&coworkers.
I can’t say I didn’t panic, though – almost threw up at my desk and asked to take a half day – but I saved the anger&resentment until I’d left our informative meeting. As her eyes welled up with tears assuring me it had been “the hardest decision” she’d ever made (which I believe to be complete bullshit) I blankly stared at her: emotionless. None of them deserve to know what’s going on inside my head.
I’ll finish out my next 5 weeks and look forward to my future with Mr.U. A move across the state, a job hunt in a brand new town, and a home to make our own is what will truly make me happy in the end anyway. (and, I already knew that this outcome was what he’d been secretly hoping for.)

February's Fall

The women in my office had obviously made New Years Weight-Loss Resolutions after the holiday dust had settled. The kitchenette over-flowed with: Cans of Soup, Whole Wheat Toast, Salads, Frozen Lean Cuisines and Everyone: discussed their caloric intake, compared diet tracking apps, shared healthy recipe options, and exercised on their lunchbreak.
The communal Snack Table remained empty during the first week of January. The second week, it made it to Friday’s On The Border Mexican delivery lunch and everyone stuck to the pre-tracked meals they’d calculated from the restaurants website. I giggled as they obsessively scooped their rice and opted out of the sour cream option. Bagels and one plate of chocolate chip cookies found their way to the table on the third week, but they were picked over throughout the day instead of the normal desperate morning munch scramble. The fourth week, a Girls Scout Cookie sign-up sheet accompanied a few boxes of granola bars and Special K chips (both of which I tried&enjoyed).
Then came February – potentially the most defeating month of the year for this obesity-tainted nation of ours. Two dozen donuts appeared on February 1st and were slowly eaten throughout the day – successfully avoided by some who’d not yet fallen off the wagon. February 2nd donned “Promotion Bagels” with lots of cream cheese options. “They’re really soft&fresh…” I heard one failed dieter snear at her deskmate who’d painfully said “no” to the Panera temptations. And today, Friday, February 3, there are two dozen more donuts on the table.
If anyone hadn’t fallen off the wagon yet, they’re clinging on by their fingernails and spitefully avoiding the common area.
Though I do find it funny – the whole New Years weight-loss trend followed by the February fall back into old habits – I mostly feel sorry for my coworkers, because I speak from experience. I’m the queen of the fad diet (my mother had me join her on the Cabbage Soup Diet before I even had a driver’s license) and I know how discouraging the cycle of motivation-lack of results-retreat can be. Hence, why I’m trying so hard to find a balance of health, exercise, and indulgence. I don’t want to end up a middle-aged office woman starving my way through January only to binge February into oblivion.

Welcome Back, Pet

Has this little guy been hibernating in my cube all winter? What day is more appropriate than Groundhog Day for this fly to decide that spring has sprung and it’s time to buzz around again. He apparently still believes he deserves a rolly chair, too…

http://endlessinbetweens.blogspot.com/2011/10/office-pet.html

Weather Bitch

I hate listening to people
complain
about the weather.
You live in the Midwest.
I bet you’ve lived here a long time.
Winter is not a shock.
This mild-winter has actually been wonderful.
One day of snow is not a big deal.
Shut up.

Marge: theMostAnnoyingOfficeLadyEver
She thinks daily complaints about anything are great.
Topic of choice lately: the weather and cold&flu season.

Tired Heater

My poor
little
office
spaceheater
didn’t even last 2 months before I wore it out.
Sad all day.
Maybe its because I take it into the breakroom with me on lunch and never shut it off during my 9 hour shift, but I can’t help that its freezing here. It is a little embarrassing to tell the secretary that I need another space heater ordered already, though… and winter has barely started.
Woops.

The Outcast

When I moved from private school to public school in the 5th grade I started having to ride the “regular bus” for the first time. Our Private School Bus only had two stops that parents brought their children to, but at the age of 10-years-old I started having to stand at the end of my driveway for the bus. I have no idea why, but when I got off the bus after school, I always ran down the driveway to my house. I don’t have a long driveway and it’s not like anyone was home waiting for me, but for some reason, I just ran – not a dead sprint, but definitely a jog. People started asking, “why do you run?” I had no answer. They’d sneer&point&laugh at me, yet though I had no reason to run down the driveway I also had no reason not to run down the driveway, so I continued to do so.
At work, I brush my teeth after breakfast and after lunch. I don’t have a “real reason” besides wanting clean teeth&fresh breath after eating. I’ve gotten several comments about “what healthy habits I practice,” but for the most part I get sneers&smirks as the catty women I work with glance down at the toothbrush&paste I carry.
I guess I don’t care, though. Just like running down the driveway wasn’t necessary or unnecessary, neither is brushing my teeth 3x a day, but I don’t plan on stopping just cos others label me an outcast for it. Every group needs someone to make fun of. The bus kids had me, now, I suppose, the Office women have me, too.

Controlled Chaos

In the middle of my finals week with stacks of work at the office, final papers to complete, and group presentations to perfect, SLEEP has become an unnecessary luxury. After 3 hours at the library with Mr.U last night, I headed home, hungry with a headache, to catch a quick cat-nap before waking up for an early work morning. Alarm set: 5:08. Snuggled in the warmth of my Detroit Lion’s fleece I opened my sleepy eyes and peered across the far-too-lit room at my searing red clock digits. 7:48 – that CAN’T be right! Alarm still set – for PM. Damnit. Lucky for me, my lazy-winter-clothing choices has simplified the morning-dressing-game, so I sprinted to the car in my PJs and booked it to the highway. Flying at 80mph through my 30-minute commute, I dug out dress pants and a top from my back seat – I even found a real bra and slipped it on for a little professional-pick-me-up. 8:18 – I breezed through the office door past my smiling boss. (around here, 18 minutes late is almost equal to 10 minutes early.) AND, post-lunchbreak, I’ve finished two major work assignments and completed the rough draft of my group paper. Controlling the chaos one clock-check at a time.

Fergie Ferdiculous

Yes, I’m notorious for
watching the same movie over&over
– listening to the same song on repeat –
entertaining myself with TV shows marathon-style
but I don’t think I could listen to the exact same 5-song playlist
.every.single.day.
Apparently, though, some people can.
The coworker in the cube next to me must have just discovered Fergie.
How?
I have no idea.
But every day
– blasting from her earphones –
are the same few Fergalicious songs from my freshman year in college.
Yes, I know that she’s promiscuous
and all that shit is fictitious
…blablabla…
but this is getting ridiculous!
How ‘bout some Pandora-style FergieFerg – spice up the dancathon a lil?

Birthday Bitch

So, apparently it’s almost the Office Bitch’s birthday. Around here, everyone secretly signs a card for the birthday person. Her card ended up on my desk to sign today. I was one of the last 3 to sign. When I opened it, all the signatures were merely “Dawn” “Lynn” etc – no “Have an awesome birthday! From Dawn” or “I hope it’s excellent! Lynn” …I found it oddly reassuring that the smiles thrown her way are all fake. It’s obvious someone is disliked when the warmest words in their birthday card are the ones in the pre-printed greeting.
My note: “I hope its wonderful! She”

Healthy Ridicule

Pot Lucks.



– pot lucks –



Everywhere.

My office has food at least every other day. That’s fine. I have a lot of self-control and I’m a bit of a picky eater, so it’s not like it really bothers me. But it does amaze me. And it’s a little irritating when I’m deciding what I want to bring and all I really want to bring is a veggie platter, but everyone ridicules me for picking a “healthy option.” When the sign-up list is full of cookies, brownies, sliders, and cheesy potatoes – I don’t see what’s wrong with someone bringing in some greens. And I will not back down – if I have to bring food in, I’m bringing something that I’d actually want to eat left-overs of. Part of me is secretly excited at the prospect of all the left over veggies I’ll have for salads next week. Who wants to bet the person bringing in brownies will have an empty pan to take home?

Office Snacks

The people in my office are addicted to snacking. At least once a week someone brings in breakfast – Big Apple Bagel, Sweetwater’s Donuts, etc. – and at least once a week we have a lunch delivered – Pizza Hut, On the Border, etc. I tend not to eat a terrible diet (at least not on a regular basis) so, in general, twice a week I have to avoid whatever goodies have been brought in. It’s easy if there’s meat or dairy – I have solid excuses to respectfully decline. But these snackers love company and ask multiple times throughout the day why I’m not joining them or I simply walk into my cube to find candy on my keyboard. This morning – in honor of the holiday – I didn’t turn down a pumpkin muffin and some apple cider. Good decision. This Halloween snack was well worth eating.

Mean Girl #1

After a little research, I’ve learned that Mean Girl #1 is mean to everyone – except men. Go figured. She’s got a funky name and she’s not very cute, thus, I bet she’s been mean her whole life to make up for her unfortunate circumstances.
I can’t hate her for that.
Like I said before: brush it off. I’ve been looked down on by women who secretly look up to me my whole life. It’s not my fault they don’t have the self-control to say “no” to that 2nd piece of pizza or the self-motivation to say “yes” to an evening jog. And apparently my easy, fun personality and relatively good looks make me the perfect target for the darting eyes and nasty smirks of jealous fellow females.
I’d rather be the object of their irritation than down on their level.

Office Pet

I know the weather is getting colder when the flies start to linger inside and chill in office cubicles like it’s no big deal. This little guy looked at me like, “whatchoo lookin’ at” while I took his picture. Um, I’m looking at the fly who thinks he deserves a rolly chair…

Mean Girls

I recently switched to a new office within the company I work for and the social dynamic is entirely different than any location I’ve been in. I noticed the first day that the staff is heavily weighted on the women’s side, which I knew could either go amazingly well or terribly wrong. Thus far, it’s been split down the middle. Some of the women are incredibly friendly – including the bosses, who are the ones that really matter to me. But the ones closer to my age are anything but nice. I honestly feel like I’ve gone back to high school where the new girl deserves to be picked on and put in place among the mean girls.
I tried, and failed, for the first couple weeks to relate to their conversations about reality TV and fashion. Rolled eyes and snickers quickly informed me that these would not be my life-long, work friends.
Now, I react to these women the same way I did in high school: brush it off. Mean girls have never been worth my effort. I’m not looking for “popularity” in the office and if being mean is the way to get attention, I’d rather quietly sit and do my job. But it is rather intriguing how catty women in the 20’s and 30’s can still be. When do women outgrow this phase? Doesn’t there come a point when a woman realizes bringing someone else down won't actually make herself feel better? Apparently, these ones haven’t. Thus, I stay out of their celebrity gossip conversation and stifle my opinions until I leave the building.
This battle simply doesn’t deserve my worry.