Drive Through

Drove through my college town this weekend.

.So nice.

Mr.U's Masters

Mr.U graduated with his Master of Public Administration this past weekend. We woke up early Saturday morning and trekked across state through the rain with his mom and family friend to meet my parents for the ceremony at our alma mater. We took some pictures for our Christmas card, sat through the long ceremony (listening to all the über-long-thesis-names & giggling), then headed to my hometown for a fancy-family-dinner at The Grill House. All-in-all, it was a lengthy&wonderful day and I’m so proud of Mr.U for graduating. Soon – maybe – it’ll be PHD time.

Reunited Sisters

It's wild.

The way we've gone through so much shit over the years

yet

we can still like each other after all of it.

I'm sure I couldn't live with them again...

...but my sister AlwaysHave&AlwaysWill be my sisters

-

through thick&thin, good&bad, distance&conflicts.

And when we meet for short amounts of time after some time has passed

we simply enjoy the time.

 

China Skype

This past weekend was homecoming in Mr.U&my college town, so we went back for sorority&fraternity reunions in our favorite Village.

Saturday morning started off quietly – we picked up donuts for the guys and hung out at his frat house until more people were up&excited.

When people finally started arriving, we set up the computer for skype – VPBF&herBofo joined our celebration all the way from China. It was such a blast to be able to see them – even if it was only on screen – it made me tear up a little at first. Eventually, we set the computer on the entertainment system and let them observe the party and participate in Power Hour with us. People kept wandering by and dancing for them – saying a few words here&there – turning around to announce to the room how much they miss “those two.”

It was priceless.

I will say, though, that I’m excited for future homecomings when they’ll actually be with us.

Driving Notes

Mr.U had a phone meeting with his professor for his last master’s class today, so he drove to my office to interview for a position here then stayed in the car taking notes on ever work his professor said about potential research topics for his thesis. He talked the entire ride home – getting all excited about healthcare acts and people with disabilities.

I love that he actually loves what he’s studying and thoroughly enjoys learning more&more about his topics of passion.

PublicPolicy&Football… my boy is easy to please.

Den Pop, I love you.

The Den.

A staple in my college town.
Sweet “I Love The Den – Home of the Den Pop” t-shirts.
Denwiches piled high with toppings.
And HUGE fountain sodas for under $1.
I genuinely love The Den.
And seriously crave Den Pops.

Friendship Connections

Some people will never understand what you’ve been through – how you dealt – and who was by your side. And that’s fine with me. I almost appreciate that unavoidable ignorance – it’s a great back-up excuse when I can’t justify the irrational reactions of those who “just don’t get it.” They weren’t there.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve encountered different trials&situations with different groups of people. My college girlfriends will never know the high school girl who genuinely stressed about yearbook editing while rocking purple hair and homemade skirts. Just like my high school girlfriends will never know the girl who stressed about sorority recruitment while rocking 6-inch stilettos and white pearls. And neither crew will know the girl who comes home every night to make her boyfriend dinner while rocking boy shorts and mickey slippers.
High school girls watched me struggle with weight problems and an emotionally abusive dad. College girls watched me lose my lover and most of my drive in life. High school girls watched my fall off tables in garages after too many shots of 5’oclock. College girls watched me fall off bar stools after too many shots of patron. Every girl in all my groups has found the connection that
links them to me – and no two connections are the same. Just because they all witnessed these certain events at certain times doesn’t mean any of them accepted of interpreted them a certain way.
It is in those details that we form relationships. Some people can’t handle my opinion, some probably don’t even hear them, and some listen and move on. Some friends I’m positive will always answer my phone calls, some will call right back, some aren’t even worth leaving voicemails. Some have seen my worst, some have brought out my worst, and some will never deserve either.
The point is: we learn these things – at least I have – that over time observations will be made, opinions will be formed, knowledge will be gained – and only those there in the moments will ever understand them.
So when new friends, boyfriends, coworkers find their way into your world they haven’t been there yet. They won’t understand why you defend certain mistreatment then overreact about someone else’s actions. They won’t understand how you can leave someone’s name out of a month’s worth of conversations and still call her your best friend. They won’t understand why
you need to consult each other – even when you don’t agree. They just won’t understand. And that’s that – that’s all there is to it. And if you can keep your head on straight about your own understanding, the rest will eventually make sense.

Starbucks Temptation

There's a Starbucks kitty-corner to my new office and I already know it’s gonna get dangerous - for my wallet, my growing caffeine addiction, and [potentially] my waistline if I let myself get fattyfatty drinks every day.
So far… I’ve been pretty good: one $5 “treat” the 1st day – then $2 Americanos (triple tall with 3 icecubes) for the rest. I really need to bring my coffee pot in, though. Save my pennies and make it as strong as my thumping, little heart desires.

Panic Mode

“God gave me you for the ups&downs.
God gave me you for the days of doubt.”
-Blake Shelton “God Gave Me You”
So, I have a tendency to go into panic mode. My biggest meltdowns tend to revolve around school&money – little else gets to me in life – but loans&college credits make my stomach turn and my eyes well up with little effort. This morning was a whole other level of panic mode when I got my Spring 2012 graduation audit back.
Before my bunni passed, I was on track for a 4-year bachelors degree with a double major in Anthropology & Global Studies minoring in Geography. Then, instead of graduating that spring, I took 3 Phys Ed classes through the Recreation Department and pretended like reality didn’t exist, which did not motivate me to get the degrees I’d already completed the required credits for – so I packed up and ran away to Disney World. Don’t get me wrong – the escape, I honestly believe, saved my life… but on a productivity level, I was simply wasting time. Finally, I decided to complete my education, meaning I had to pick up a few credits at the university before they would let me graduate after disappearing on them.
This morning, though, I learned I was one course short – one random course of my choice – and, of course, the drop/add date for this semester has already come&gone. My stomach turned and I started balling at my desk – instead of thinking of a rational solution to the problem, I lunged into panic mode and convinced myself my world was ending while I texted Mr.U. “I’m going to die. I’m one class short. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t pay for more of this. I can’t take out loans. I’m going to die.” Calmly he responded: “We’ll figure it out.”
The evil Asian bitch didn’t end up letting me late add – so I have one stupid class to take in summer 1… but Mr.U didn’t let me let the issue get me down, emphasizing all the good: it’s not like I planned to leave the area before July anyway – I’ll be much less busy now without the added credits – I’ll *hopefully* be hired-in & receiving tuition reimbursement by then… and so on.
Blake Shelton’s “God Gave Me You” song has been playing on repeat in my head for days and I can’t express how blessed I feel to have Mr.U in my life. He calms me, makes me laugh till my belly aches, brings me back down to earth, and builds me up when I’m too hard on myself. I honestly think I’m the luckiest girl in the world – even when I so easily slip into panic mode.

Puzzle Pieces

My group is growing up. It’s wild.
One already moved to South Carolina for a teaching position. One friend is taking a job offer all the way in Texas. One is starting a new degree program across the state. One is getting married. One is having a baby. Others are spread all over the state and others are still right next door… And, just 2 days ago, Barbie got engaged – to a wonderful marine-man who’ll undoubtedly treat her as perfectly as she deserves.
Then there’s Mr.U&I simply smiling at each other while our friends move on and the world keeps revolving – testing the waters and finding the comfort.
I remember when Barbie started seeing Marine and we all silently thought: he’s the one. He fit into her happiness like the final missing puzzle piece and we willingly checked her off the list of single friends – not that her relationship made her lame like some do.
Maybe it’s the fact that everyone is growing up around me or the warmth of the holiday season seeping into my brain&heart, but I can’t help feeling like I’ve found that final piece. Now, I don’t rush into things at all – anyone who knows me is painfully aware that I’m the most indecisive, nonchalant, commitment-phobic, obsessive-compulsive monster at times – but I’m a firm believer in the fact that “when you know, you know.” Just like we all knew that Marine would marry Barbie (maybe not that he’d propose with such a gorgeous ring, but still). And I have to admit: I think I know. Or at least I’m not scared to acknowledge what I feel. And somewhere in this frantic heart, I’m finding a comforting calm.

4Point Irritation

She may have driven me nuts, but I aced her class.

- 4.0 this semester -

even with a prof I couldn't understand and wore shit like this.

Sleepless Progress

Last week was nuts (hence my lack of bloggage). Exam week snuck up on me and, before I could catch my breath, I had a group project and paper due and no time to complete it. Thus, I did what any normal college student would do in the time of crisis – pulled all-nighters the entire week. Thanks to one of my favorite supplements, I slept a mere 6 hours in 5 days, wasted little time eating (relying on eating what little groceries I happened to have left over from the previous week), and completed everything I needed to – all while maintaining my scheduled work routine and every previous plan with friends. I’d say it was a pretty successful week – I may have lost a bit of my mind (and my actual weight) during those sleepless days, but brain-power can take a backseat to productivity (at all cost) every once in a while. After a stressful yet fun-filled AND sleep-filled weekend, I’m finally feeling back to normal.

Procrastination Letter

This is me procrastinating in the library while Mr.U diligently works on his final project.
I started looking through my old documents and found this letter dated June 26th 2010. It made me smile, appreciate the wonderful people I have in my life, and get really excited about finishing school. Then, at the same time, it made me sad, miss all the wonderful people far away, and get really scared about finishing school…

"Today is the day you graduate. Wow. This is crazy, RickyBobby... I wasn't joking the other day when I said I never really comprehended that we'd get here. I mean, I figured we would - I hoped we would - it was a general assumption, but we are actually moving away from each other. EW. From that first meeting in the Bigelow caf with my poddy mouth and unhinged anger at "that bitch, Betty" to our FlavvvvvvorFlavvvvv marathons. "Oh, Uli, I wish you were my mother." I'm not sure how I'll survive in this world without you there to take care of me - escorting my hysterically, crying self past the front desk workers assuring them that I was only upset that I'd hurt my knee & ignoring my "he doesn't love me!" shrieks.
And, tho I may have thought that I was certainly NOT A BABY, I guess neither of us are now. Love/Hate Relationship = living in this house, but I never could have lived here without you. That day that Her&I went on a hyper rampage & tackled you outside your bedroom...being roomies for our 2nd year...escaping to each other when it all tried to fall apart. You've held me together more often than you know, & I'm going to have SERIOUS withdrawls when you leave, but I'm pretty sure it won't sink in for a while that you aren't going to be 10 feet from me anymore. Tears = later. Us two crazy Bigehoes have made it through quite the 4-year ride & I can't wait to see where life takes us next. I'm SO proud of you! <3"

Back to the project I go, I suppose.

Controlled Chaos

In the middle of my finals week with stacks of work at the office, final papers to complete, and group presentations to perfect, SLEEP has become an unnecessary luxury. After 3 hours at the library with Mr.U last night, I headed home, hungry with a headache, to catch a quick cat-nap before waking up for an early work morning. Alarm set: 5:08. Snuggled in the warmth of my Detroit Lion’s fleece I opened my sleepy eyes and peered across the far-too-lit room at my searing red clock digits. 7:48 – that CAN’T be right! Alarm still set – for PM. Damnit. Lucky for me, my lazy-winter-clothing choices has simplified the morning-dressing-game, so I sprinted to the car in my PJs and booked it to the highway. Flying at 80mph through my 30-minute commute, I dug out dress pants and a top from my back seat – I even found a real bra and slipped it on for a little professional-pick-me-up. 8:18 – I breezed through the office door past my smiling boss. (around here, 18 minutes late is almost equal to 10 minutes early.) AND, post-lunchbreak, I’ve finished two major work assignments and completed the rough draft of my group paper. Controlling the chaos one clock-check at a time.

Stressful Dreams

When I get stressed out, I dream crazy crazy things and sleepwalk all over the place. I’ve woken up in random rooms doing weird things like drinking from a gallon of orange juice or ripping pages out of a magazine – and when I don’t actually leave my bed, I dream the most vivid, intense dreams ever.
Lately, with the stress of college graduation apps, job hunting, and car shopping, I’ve dreamt that: Mr.U died in a car accident, I was attacked by a dog, my arch enemy was stalking me, and I knew I’d be dying in a few hours.
Not fun to wake up in a cold sweat 4 nights in a row grasping for anything solid&real that happens to be near me to assure that my life is fine and I’m going to make it.
I’m ready for things to settle down again.

Besties

Three of my sorority sisters & I nicknamed ourselves the “Besties” in college. We’d take “Bestie Pics” for every occasion and call each other by our Bestie nicknames: BabyBestie, BustyBestie, BronzeBestie, and BunnyBestie. We were unphazingly annoying, a bit snobby, and far too cliquie – and we knew it.
But we loved it.
I still love the Bestie Days… no matter how many other people couldn’t stand them. Sometimes we’d fight about the silliest things. Sometimes we had Bestie Breaks – and each one of us had plenty of friends besides the Besties. But, we had each other’s backs, held each other up, and made each other laugh till we cried & cry till we laughed. And I know those three girls will be my Besties forever.

The View

These are a few of my favorite views.

My College Town

Winding Country Roads

My Summer Town

Chicago Traffic
The Lake Michigan Shoreline

Sunshine on Campus

The Mackinac Bridge

Monster Walk

Campus in the fall is potentially one of my top favorite things in life and this fall just keeps going and going for me to enjoy. This past Sunday I decided to take the puppymonster for a walk. I only planned to walk through what is known as East Campus, because I’d already worked out and that is closest area to our house, but the day was just too beautiful to pass up. We ended up walking for a solid three hours – all through campus for miles of colorful trees and my favorite buildings lit by the dim, fall sunshine. We even stopped at the library to say "hello" to Mr.U - who Hazel seems to adore. By the time we headed back toward the big hill home Hazel was plain tuckered-out and anytime I stopped to snap a picture she laid right down on the cool pavement. It was no surprise when we got home that she literally passed out on the rug next to my bed. She looks at me with more appreciative eyes now, though. I may have invaded her home and walked all over her territory, but I’m slowly winning her over – and getting a lot of exercise while I’m at it.

Building Memories

It’s amazing: the memories a building can hold and the power those memories have.

It was about this time 5 years ago that I was itching to leave the college I had just started attending. I didn’t feel like I fit in, the campus didn’t inspire me, and the people in my freshmen dorm were lame&quiet. My grandparents, though, had met, fallen in love, and gotten married at my new university almost 50 years earlier. They weren’t about to let me give up so easily. Thus, we spent one beautiful fall day wandering around our classic (and severely neglected) East Campus. Their memories changed my mind entirely and introduced me to a love still lingering in my spirit.