I guess I need to remind myself sometimes that I don’t need anyone.
Mr.U hasn’t found a job back home yet. Financially, it’s fine – he has a substantial amount of savings and a mother who’s more than willing to help. And he’s done a ton of work around the house – cleaning, painting, grocery shopping, doing laundry, mowing – but I still get a little easily irritated when I come home to a boyfriend who’s slept in, lounged out, and read an entire book in the times he wasn’t doing housestuff. Which isn’t fair. He’s been going non-stop with school& work for years – he deserves this break.
Last night, though, I hit a frustration wall. I couldn’t get my computer to work – the black screen that had taken over was setting me into panicmode – and all I wanted to burn a CD for my commute to&from work. While he snuggled in bed reading GameOfThrones, I struggled then lost it at his lack of enthusiasm for my issue. Eventually, I fixed it all – backed up my hard drive (finally), downloaded the songs I wanted onto my phone, transferred them to my computer, then burned my CD. All while Mr.U sat downstairs because I “didn’t seem happy” so his solution was to leave.
This was a rude awakening that I’ve become too dependent for my own taste. The me before him would have been just as frustrated and fixed it without the target to aim my anger toward. I don’t need him to get frustrated with me. I don’t need him to have dinner ready or miss me all day while he’s lounging. I don’t need him to tell me how much he appreciates my efforts after a long day of work.
I love him, but I don’t need him.
Mr.U hasn’t found a job back home yet. Financially, it’s fine – he has a substantial amount of savings and a mother who’s more than willing to help. And he’s done a ton of work around the house – cleaning, painting, grocery shopping, doing laundry, mowing – but I still get a little easily irritated when I come home to a boyfriend who’s slept in, lounged out, and read an entire book in the times he wasn’t doing housestuff. Which isn’t fair. He’s been going non-stop with school& work for years – he deserves this break.
Last night, though, I hit a frustration wall. I couldn’t get my computer to work – the black screen that had taken over was setting me into panicmode – and all I wanted to burn a CD for my commute to&from work. While he snuggled in bed reading GameOfThrones, I struggled then lost it at his lack of enthusiasm for my issue. Eventually, I fixed it all – backed up my hard drive (finally), downloaded the songs I wanted onto my phone, transferred them to my computer, then burned my CD. All while Mr.U sat downstairs because I “didn’t seem happy” so his solution was to leave.
This was a rude awakening that I’ve become too dependent for my own taste. The me before him would have been just as frustrated and fixed it without the target to aim my anger toward. I don’t need him to get frustrated with me. I don’t need him to have dinner ready or miss me all day while he’s lounging. I don’t need him to tell me how much he appreciates my efforts after a long day of work.
I love him, but I don’t need him.
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