Creating Happiness

My father's parents insisted on my brothers&I going to private school – so much so that they footed the tuition bill. I can't complain – I was given an excellent elementary education, but I was also surrounded by people whose parents actually paid the tuition, though, which meant they had enough money to have a lot of things handed to them. We lived in a trailer until I was three before moving into our modest home. I can't say I remember wanting for much but I was efinitely aware that I didn't have everything and the most of my classmates did.
Eventually we all moved to public school where the playing field was much more even. I had my specialties – they had their specialties – it was no longer all about money. Unfortunately, though, college takes money and I did not have parent who volunteered tuition payments. So I attended a university close to home where I could keep my job and pay my bills and my private-schoolmates went off exploring major universities in exciting, new towns. Don't get me wrong – I loved my college experience and – looking back – I wouldn’t change a single thing, but while keeping in touch with my friends I can't help resenting the fact that they never had to think too much about their lives – worry about bills, stress over finding a job, or save for a wedding that their parents wouldn't pay everything. They are starting masters programs and I can't fathom taking out more loans. They're dabbling in photography because someone footed the bill for an incredibly expensive camera. They’re taking random vacations while I’ve never been abroad.
They are worry-free yet passion-less.
But alongside my frustration I remember that I wouldn't want their lives. I'm proud of the work I've done and the accomplishments I've made entirely on my own. I cherish the girlfriend I spent my college life loving and I do not regret my lack of marriage or children because of losing her. If I had it my way I would simply be comfortable - surrounded by family, growing my own food, and enjoying the sunset instead of a shopping spree. I live with the mother of the man I love and I share a car on my daily commute. I buy second hand t-shirt then tailor them to fit my taste and spend an entire weekend beading a necklace I could have bought. I create my own happiness and no one can give that to me or take that from me.