SweetTooth Garbage

I have a SweetTooth. Not a very bad one – I’m definitely a SaltySnacker.
But, I do love my mom’s homemade chocolate chip cookies, white cake with vanilla ButterCream frosting, and fudge brownies.
And, I have absolutely no self-control when it comes to the things that I love.

So, I end up making or acquiring goodies, then throwing them out before eating them all. It’s a sad habit, but the SweetTooth tummy ache must be avoided.

Woops.

NeedyGirl

I pride myself on never needing anybody. I’m not sure if it’s my “near death experience” of getting stranded in the downtown of a dangerous city with no phone or wallet that’s getting to me or simply the time of the month, but I’m feeling incredibly needy. Last night I re-organized my room for hours after walking the puppymonster and, once I’d finally made my comfy-queen-bed just the way I wanted it, I dreaded the idea of climbing in alone.
I love being alone.
I dislike not being alone.
I never want someone in my bed.
It’s my bed, not theirs.
I’m not a snuggler.
I’m not a bed-sharer.
But, right now, all I want to do is share my bed – nuzzle down under someone’s armpit and watch their chest rise&fall with each breath.
I never feel this way.
I don’t want things like that.
At this moment, though, I most definitely do.
“you were on my mind nine tenths of yesterday...”
Kimya Dawson – My Rollercoaster

photo taken by: the roommate

GimmeThat Attention

I go in spurts with people like I go in spurts with food. Some days, all I want to eat is carrots. So, I eat carrots till I’m sick of them. Sometimes, all I want is the attention of one person. So, I soak up their world till I don’t care for it anymore. In some cases, though, I’m only allowed to stay until they’ve had their fill of me.
I spent the past few days with someone who’s time I thoroughly enjoyed occupying. I don’t want either one of us to be over it yet. Thus, I have to tweak the approach I’ve been using forever. This is strange and very out of character. But, let the games begin.

This is Addy.
the ghost of my new room.
she’s carefree.
and I dig her.

Spotless Mind

Monday night should have been wonderful. Monday Night Football with good weather and great company. But, instead, I let myself slip into emotional drunk mode and ball my eyes out over someone who voluntarily left this world almost two years ago.
Frustrating.
I hate myself when I do that.
I hate her for still making me miserable and I hate myself for still letting it bother me.
I know, I know – this takes time. I've been told. Everyone’s told me:
“someday you’ll be fine.”
“someday it won’t hurt like it does.”
“someday it’ll be better.”
Well, that someday needs to come faster. I’m sick of getting emotional over something that’s out of my control. It’s embarrassing to cry at a tailgate and irritating to cry at all. Times like these make me wish I could just erase her. But I know my soul would miss the good times – my soul would still know her.

This whole “someday” thing is bullshit…

Adventures in JLo

Sundays have become "Veg Out with Movies" day for my friend and I. Today it's Adventures in Wonderland (twice since we didn't pay attention the first time around) then El Cantante & Gili with confetti cake & vanilla frosting.
Can't complain.

Clutter Front

"Mine's the one with the shit all over the porch."

Bangin' Bangs

I have a love-hate relationship with my bangs.

FriesAllDay

.I.Love.French.Fries.

I could eat fries for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
(Of course, I'd miss eggs&candy...)
I think it's because I haven't eaten meat for so long that I got used to expecting to eat "sides" as a meal in restaurants. I love any kind of potato and french fries top the list. Any kind of french fry. My dad makes delicious homemade ones. Burger King has my favorite fastfood ones. So many restaurants have awesome steak fries that I get far too excited to eat.
My best friend gave up fries to lose weight for her wedding...
I can't even imagine.

Weekend Paint

The Progression of a Painting

Black Betty

I’ve driven the same gray Blazer since I turned 16. Her name is Betty and I honestly consider her one of my best friends. We’ve been everywhere together - through everything together.
My first day with an official license I drove her to Grease auditions leading to a summer as Sandy in a community theater production. We went to Florida and back 3 times – once to actually live in the heat for a semester. I packed her up and moved to college – put down the back seat and piled people in to party in the woods – fell asleep in the back with my girlfriend when we felt unwelcome in our own home.
I’ve grown up with Betty. And, like anything that’s stood next to me through time, I’ve gone through some hardship with Betty.
She heard my heart-wrenching shrieks when my baby committed suicide – sat patiently next to me while I sobbed on cold pavement in a parking lot – carried my memories when I packed up an apartment full of belongings willed to me.
People judge her for her tattered appearance, but they don’t know what she’s been through. In a way – we’re one in the same… we’ll survive these endlessinbetweens until I bury her in my backyard.

Oil&Rain

This week has been absolutely beautiful – apparently Fall isn’t ready to embrace frost and fallen leaves yet. Thus, I’ve been soaking up the glorious weather before it gives in to the winter wonderland just around the corner.
Just last week, though, I felt like I’d fallen into a time-warp and woken up during Spring – rain, rain everyday…

When I have no important activities that would be hindered by wet pant legs, I do tend to enjoy rainfall and the unique things it does to the landscape. The mix of city&nature surrounds me in my new neighborhood and I couldn’t help but love the reaction of motor oil and raindrops on cold, damp pavement.