Monday night should have been wonderful. Monday Night Football with good weather and great company. But, instead, I let myself slip into emotional drunk mode and ball my eyes out over someone who voluntarily left this world almost two years ago.
Frustrating.
I hate myself when I do that.
I hate her for still making me miserable and I hate myself for still letting it bother me.
I know, I know – this takes time. I've been told. Everyone’s told me:
“someday you’ll be fine.”
“someday it won’t hurt like it does.”
“someday it’ll be better.”
Well, that someday needs to come faster. I’m sick of getting emotional over something that’s out of my control. It’s embarrassing to cry at a tailgate and irritating to cry at all. Times like these make me wish I could just erase her. But I know my soul would miss the good times – my soul would still know her.
This whole “someday” thing is bullshit…
I’m a jumpseat reader discovering new destinations one flight and one book at a time.
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I feel you. I didn't drink for a long time becuase of this. Sadly, it still happens once in a while :(
ReplyDeletetime doesn't make it better... only makes us slightly numb to the idea they are gone.
It never gets better.
They lie.