Hello, Spring.

The weather's been so up&down these days.

QueenBeeBirthday

My grandmother is a pretty popular lady.
Even at 73 people go out of their way to send her birthday cards.

And – now that she’s on facebook – her wall was covered in birthday wishes.
She’s touched a lot of people over the years through her days as a school bus driver, step-aerobic attendee, and camp counselor.
I’m very proud that I can claim her as my grandma, sleep over at her house, call her just to chitchat, and share inside jokes with her.
She’s one special lady.

Frustration Need

I guess I need to remind myself sometimes that I don’t need anyone.
Mr.U hasn’t found a job back home yet. Financially, it’s fine – he has a substantial amount of savings and a mother who’s more than willing to help. And he’s done a ton of work around the house – cleaning, painting, grocery shopping, doing laundry, mowing – but I still get a little easily irritated when I come home to a boyfriend who’s slept in, lounged out, and read an entire book in the times he wasn’t doing housestuff. Which isn’t fair. He’s been going non-stop with school& work for years – he deserves this break.
Last night, though, I hit a frustration wall. I couldn’t get my computer to work – the black screen that had taken over was setting me into panicmode – and all I wanted to burn a CD for my commute to&from work. While he snuggled in bed reading GameOfThrones, I struggled then lost it at his lack of enthusiasm for my issue. Eventually, I fixed it all – backed up my hard drive (finally), downloaded the songs I wanted onto my phone, transferred them to my computer, then burned my CD. All while Mr.U sat downstairs because I “didn’t seem happy” so his solution was to leave.
This was a rude awakening that I’ve become too dependent for my own taste. The me before him would have been just as frustrated and fixed it without the target to aim my anger toward. I don’t need him to get frustrated with me. I don’t need him to have dinner ready or miss me all day while he’s lounging. I don’t need him to tell me how much he appreciates my efforts after a long day of work.
I love him, but I don’t need him.

Disappearing Act

I’ve said this before. It’ll always be true. Sometimes: I fall off the planet. Most times: for no reason except to disappear for a bit. I forget that I like to be social – that I have people I love to hear from – that my friends&family deserve my attention – and I simply fade away. Rarely do I intend to – I don’t thrive on the abandonment of others. But still, I tumble into an antisocial hole until something catches my glance one day and brings me back to the surface.
I don’t know if I feel like surfacing yet.
new home – new job – new surroundings
…a boyfriend to snuggle&distract myself with…
I find myself indescribably content sprawled out on the couch with a diet A&W and a good book to read. I nuzzle into one shoulder and forget the existence of all other shoulders. I tell my stories to the one I’m next to then put them in my memory bank. I suppose others would like to hear them. Well, actually, I know so. But I remain inside my nearly silent bubble.
I’ll be in there till it pops.
If you need me – know that I’ll wake up soon.

Reno to Party

Mr.U&I finished our basement renovation project just in time for a little Cinco De Mayo celebration before going out to the Broadcast Booth for a friend’s surprise coming home party (post-basic training). We’d painted the walls, ripped down the ceiling, got some posters framed, and rearranged the furniture… all just to get hammered with tequila and drinking games. It was worth all the effort, though – our little home is coming together nicely.

Liquid Meds

Mr.U dumped out my asprin and used this bottle to hold store something else Saturday night.
After sticking my finger in it in the dark and feeling liquid instead of medicine, I screwed on the cap and threw it out.
But I'd still like to know where all the pills went...

Funeral Day

While my grandpa continues to get better, we lay Mr.U’s grandfather to rest today. I can’t express how happy I am I was able to meet him before his passing – family is a gift I will always hold dearly to my heart and Mr.U’s family has wedeled its way in now. I’m also glad I’m able to be by Mr.U’s side during this period of mourning.

This too shall pass.

Beaded Weekend

The passing of Mr.U’s grandpa put a damper on our weekend travel plans, so while we lounged around the house – reminiscing with his mom – I ended up accomplishing quite a lot of beading. new anklet for the summer
elephant necklace for Barbie

super long necklace to use up beads

Cheapies Splurge

There’s a cute store about a block from my office called Incognito, so I treated myself to a pair of sunglasses when I got my paycheck the other day. Obviously, it wasn’t much a ‘splurge’ since they were $5 ‘cheapies,’ but they were still cute&necessary.

MishMashMeals

Without Mr.U to cook for, I haven’t found the motivation to do any serious grocery shopping for myself, which has turned mealtime into somewhat of a free-for-all for whatever I can throw together to eat.
Leftover city – of course.
Beer
Fruit
Chip Crumbs
Spaghetti
Salad

Beer

DQ Blizzard remnants on cookie from frozen dough
Not gonna lie – I’m excited for an excuse to finally make real meals again.

Grandpa Weekend

I couldn’t have asked for a better weekend with my grandparents.I got to Mr.U’s house Friday evening, had dinner with him at Roadhouse, then headed out to a local pub to watch the Redwings playoff game. After their unfortunate loss, we decided to call it a night to ensure we’d be well-rested for the next day with grandma&grandpa. We grabbed breakfast and Nina’s then began our journey to the old farmhouse. I hid behind my sunglasses as tears filled my eyes – driving the familiar backroads and knowing that I’d find my healthy grandpa nestled in his chair wasn’t something I thought I’d ever be able to do again. Finally, I pulled in and breathed a sigh of relief. Calm down, girl. You get to see then now. I teared up as I hugged my grandma – her teeny body feeling so fragile after all these months apart. Then I stood in the kitchen in anticipation while grandpa finished “getting pretty” before slowly walking out to greet me with his walker.
He looked amazing for someone who’d spent two weeks under sedation. He always looks wonderful, but he looked especially enchanting and I felt incredibly lucky to be able to hug him again.
Mr.U&I spent the weekend at the farmhouse – we made breakfast, read a lot, giggled about old stories, drank coffee, and sat in the tranquility of a house that will forever calm my spirit. I told grandpa, “all I’ve wanted is to sit on this porch with you, you know.” And he agreed that his desires had matched mine.
My uncle (who’s becoming the “mother hen”) was in&out all weekend – bringing food, making sure all the proper medicines were taken, keeping grandpa hydrated and upright. Its precious to see a man in his 50’s dote over his father so lovingly. And we watched grandpa progress – not that I had any doubt he’d be up&about faster than expected. When we first arrived, he relied heavily on his walker. By the time we left on Sunday evening – he was hopping from room to room without it. A determined man he most certainly is. But I didn’t care if he simply slept the whole time – being near him was all I wanted.

I can tell he’s doing a lot of thinking. We may have been sitting in silence, but his head was anything besides quiet. He smiled at my grandma while she fidgeted with her IPad and watched Mr.U&I as we snuggled on the couch. I can only imagine what he’s thinking – what he wants to remember – what he can’t stop appreciating. He has no idea how much thinking, remembering, and appreciating I’ve been doing for him – and I’ll never stop.