Small Cell Lung Cancer

The entire month of May Joe's mom had a horrible cough. She wasn't in my car on the drive down&back, but apparently she'd violently coughed the entire time. When we got back, she had a doctors appointment that led to a chest x-ray that led to another appointment.

Joe&I got home from work and the front door was wide open... he walked back to his mom's room to see what was up and the look on his face when he returned to the kitchen was pure terror. "She had her appointment about that chest x-ray today... This isn't going to be good." She emerged from the bedroom with puffy eyes and a wet face. "They found a tumor in my lung." The rest of her words escape me - they came out in muffled murmurs and circled my ears before floating past me.

Next came an oncology appointment at 9pm on a Thursday. I took her. Joe had holed himself off in the basement since we heard the news. I can't say I gathered much from the appointment besides the fact that I hate oncology offices and that sympathetic expressions don't actually lend real  information.

The next morning produced a 6am phone call that she needed to be admitted. The oncologist - an old friend of Jan's - said he'd let his emotions get in the way of sending her straight to the hospital and she needed to go in. So I headed to work and Joe stayed home to take her. The day was atrociously horrible. Trying to keep my mind on paperwork while knowing what he was going through was so difficult&painful.

After a weekend of radiation, she's able to breathe again and her cough has cleared up so much. It's amazing. Unfortunately, though, it's still small cell lung cancer, which needs to be aggressively treated with chemotherapy if there's any hope for remission. Her first round starts today, so our fingers are crossed that she doesn't get too sick, since everyone takes to chemo differently.

I seem to be the voice of "real conversations" in our household. Since Joe closes up when serious&sad topics unfold, I get to hear all the unfortunate news&details. I'm trying very hard to hold it together, keep my head up, stay positive, and stifle any horrified emotions.