Day with Dad

I spent most of the 3-Year-Anniversary Day of Bunni’s Death with her dad

who's relationship I feel so blessed to have in my life.

(When I let myself think about it, I ache the most for him

...

and I wish for his happiness over anyone who lost our beautiful girl.)

After breakfast with RickyBobby, I stopped at Starbucks to pick up a traveler of coffee for the cemetery. When I ordered it, the barista seemed a little irritated with my request, but attempted to be polite and ask me if I was going anywhere fun in need of coffee. Without thinking I responded “to a cemetery” and his face dropped in sadness. I reassured him that I didn’t mean to make him uncomfortable, but it was still an awkwardly comical Starbucks moment. I then headed to the cemetery with my coffee and El Tigre to sit with her brother&bestfriend. They were late, of course – cause they’re on their own schedule – so I had some time to sit alone on the windy, cloudy day...allowing myself to think about the girl I'd loved&lost and still miss so very much. After a little smoke upon their arrival, I headed to her dad’s, who I planned to watch movies with all night, but we got sucked into college football, so we munched&watched&chilled in our usual seats in front of the TV with sweatpants&cigarettes. We both woke up extra early in the morning and watched the sun rise on the snow covered ground leading to the lake and discussed the life Bunni's Envoy had been leading as-of-late. I thought it was long gone since her dad had finally gotten a new car for himself, but apparently he'd just been storing&fixing her and lending her out when his employees&son when in need of a spare car. I'll admit that I was rediculously excited when I pulled into the driveway the night before the find the Envoy sparkling in front of the garage. We all know about my overwhelming emotional attatchment to my own Betty, and after the nights Bunni&I spent sleeping&surviving in the driveway of our sorority house, the Envoy wiggled it's way pretty deeply into my good memories. So anyway, we chit-chatted over morning coffee, finished a movie - Phenomenon - we'd fell asleep in the middle of, then I headed back home around noon.

I actually found myself really missing Mr.U a couple times throughout the night, which I think is a good sign. I still very much miss my Bunni and wish she was still here and were were still “us.” But it’s nice to know I’ve found someone who can make my heart as happy as she did. And, I think she wanted me to be happy when she left, so – in an odd way – I’m probably pleasing her.