Friendship Connections

Some people will never understand what you’ve been through – how you dealt – and who was by your side. And that’s fine with me. I almost appreciate that unavoidable ignorance – it’s a great back-up excuse when I can’t justify the irrational reactions of those who “just don’t get it.” They weren’t there.
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve encountered different trials&situations with different groups of people. My college girlfriends will never know the high school girl who genuinely stressed about yearbook editing while rocking purple hair and homemade skirts. Just like my high school girlfriends will never know the girl who stressed about sorority recruitment while rocking 6-inch stilettos and white pearls. And neither crew will know the girl who comes home every night to make her boyfriend dinner while rocking boy shorts and mickey slippers.
High school girls watched me struggle with weight problems and an emotionally abusive dad. College girls watched me lose my lover and most of my drive in life. High school girls watched my fall off tables in garages after too many shots of 5’oclock. College girls watched me fall off bar stools after too many shots of patron. Every girl in all my groups has found the connection that
links them to me – and no two connections are the same. Just because they all witnessed these certain events at certain times doesn’t mean any of them accepted of interpreted them a certain way.
It is in those details that we form relationships. Some people can’t handle my opinion, some probably don’t even hear them, and some listen and move on. Some friends I’m positive will always answer my phone calls, some will call right back, some aren’t even worth leaving voicemails. Some have seen my worst, some have brought out my worst, and some will never deserve either.
The point is: we learn these things – at least I have – that over time observations will be made, opinions will be formed, knowledge will be gained – and only those there in the moments will ever understand them.
So when new friends, boyfriends, coworkers find their way into your world they haven’t been there yet. They won’t understand why you defend certain mistreatment then overreact about someone else’s actions. They won’t understand how you can leave someone’s name out of a month’s worth of conversations and still call her your best friend. They won’t understand why
you need to consult each other – even when you don’t agree. They just won’t understand. And that’s that – that’s all there is to it. And if you can keep your head on straight about your own understanding, the rest will eventually make sense.