Menthol Mind

My bunni was a smoker. The whole time I dated her, I refused to even purchase a pack of cigarettes for her, let alone smoke my own. But I didn’t mind her smoking. I knew as soon as our meals were finished, we needed to pay&leave so she could smoke. I knew where multiple ashtrays&lighters were at all times. I knew stopping for cigs always needed to be added into travel plans and that her mouth would consistently taste like menthol. But I never once smoked.
Not until about a month before she passed. She asked me to light a cigarette for her. I had no idea how. But I loved her and felt desperate to please her. So I learned. Then I lit all of her cigarettes for her when we were together that last month.
I joked after she’d gone that I was simply trying to let the Marlboro Company down easy by picking up smoking myself. Really, I think I’d just lost my mind. Really, I was living vicariously through her bad habits. Really, I rarely liked them – I honestly felt that I needed them.
On days that I miss her, I buy a pack. I used to chain-smoke it. My most recent one has lasted over a month. It all entirely depends. All I know is that Marlboro Menthol Milds make me happy – whether I actually crave them, need them, or even like them. My bunni thrived on the blue pack and I admittedly will probably thrive on them for her-through her-with her forever.