Oddly Calm

I feel as though I had enough freak-outs during the month of November that, by the time the 24th rolled around, I was oddly calm despite its significance. I woke up next to my #bff and quietly packed and left for the cemetery. On the way, he dad called: tell the coffee lady what you want. I giggled. A nonfat nowhip caramel brulée, please. I pulled through the gates and drove toward the angel statue that watches over my baby’s headstone. He was already there, sitting in his blue Comero convertible – smokin’ a cigarette and sippin’ his starbucks. Good morning, Angel. He wrapped his arms around me – a hug that generally would well my eyes up. This time, though, we just smiled at each other. I got out the blanket her&I had snuggled under for years and laid it on the frosty ground for us to sit silently on & watch the sun rise over the fog. We smoked&laughed for about an hour before I left him sitting there. A couple tears flowed as a headed to my car, but I was oddly calm&comfortable the entire day. I miss her, of course. I always will. And the sting will sneak up when I’m not pay attention, I’m sure. But it was nice to make it through the 24th in a relatively normal state of mind.

I won't let you close enough to hurt me.
No, I won't ask you,

you to just desert me.
Turning Tables - Adele